From a note I received following a memorial service: “It was such a blessing to find you 800 miles away and have you deliver beyond any expectations. I smile every time I think about the ceremony and I know my Dad is as well… Everyone I spoke with thought it was the best tribute possible. ”
Do you think that a memorial service or funeral should suit the person who passed away? I think many of us believe that. Yet it is not an uncommon experience today for the ceremony at a memorial service to feel disconnected from the person being honored. How much better for those mourning when the ceremony suits the personal story of the one they loved.
Earlier this month, I officiated at a ceremony that I wrote for someone who had been an avid fisherman. Bob ran a fishing shop that was an institution in Colorado. He led scouts in learning outdoor skills. He was a naturalist who truly loved the earth and its waters and all the creatures therein. He had also spent almost all of his adult years in a wheelchair. This was a remarkable man, and it was an honor to help pay tribute to his life.
As a Life-Cycle Celebrant, I write and structure a ceremony so that it is appropriate to the person being honored and satisfying to those who are in attendance. A memorial ceremony should help the grieving process.
The ceremony for Bob included his life story and was held in a local park that Bob had enjoyed. The story was honest and respectful. The ceremony included laughter, with a unique salute suitable to his quirky humor. And it also included serious moments: reflections on the impact that he had on so many people, readings appropriate to his spiritual beliefs, and a blessing Bob would have liked as we released his ashes to the Earth. In an unintimidating way, I engaged those present in the ceremony.
As a Life-Cycle Celebrant, I capture the life story behind each life that is honored. I bring this story out for all to celebrate in a way that is true to the deceased and also inclusive of those gathered.
There is a deep joy in honoring the special moments and transitions in life. Surely, one of the biggest transitions is connected to departing this world. When we pause to appropriately honor someone’s departure, we sanctify their life…and we also bless the lives of all those they touched.